Funny thing, emotions. In the grips of an emotional high, we feel invincibility and never-ending optimism. Any choice we make is a good one and can only yield good things. And then, with a snap of the fingers and a blink of the eye, we plummet into the doldrums. Everything is wrong, and what can we possibly do to make it better?
The truth is, our emotions are in constant flux. We all have off days where we just feel miserable for no good reason. And we have pleasant days when we feel like everything will keep going swell forever.
We talk about our off days, but what about when just an hour feels off? Have you have ever had a really terrific minute? Sounds silly, doesn’t it? But passions can snap back and forth that quickly. Happy warps into angry after an unexpected phone call, then changes back to happy forty minutes later after a tasty dinner. We wake up feeling listless, but after an invigorating workout, we perk up. In point of fact, all of us can jump from sad to happy to sad again to upset to tranquil all in one afternoon … and for no apparent reason at all.
In short, emotions are really weird. Do you want to feel differently from how you’re feeling now? Wait twenty minutes.
Now, when I talk about emotions, I’m not talking about medical depression. That’s an entirely different conversation. A diagnosed case of depression is a far cry from just feeling “bleh” or lacking joy in our lives. But in most everyday situations, irritation and sorrow walk hand-in-hand with joy and happiness, and they all get mixed together into a crazed tapestry that forms our emotional spectrum. They all take turns. Just because we feel a certain way about something at any given time, doesn’t meant that our opinion won’t make a one-eighty at any given moment.
There’s a somewhat unpleasant implication to take away from this: We can’t trust our feelings when making important choices. We can’t ignore them either, but something so changeable doesn’t strike me as a solid foundation on which to build decisions and opinions. I certainly can’t. I’m a moody guy, and I’ve simply learned that if I’m feeling rotten, I need to be patient and wait for it to run its course. Or heck, I’m hungry and just need a snack.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about medical depression. That’s an entirely different conversation. A diagnosed case of depression is something different from everyday emotional turbulence. Our normal emotions are something perfectly natural. To feel is to walk down a road alternatively smooth and bumpy.
When you’re feeling good, you know you can take on the world. So, you make that impulse buy. You dive into building that house. You decide, perhaps, to start writing a book. And you start out strong! Everything is going exactly as planned. Alas, you eventually run into a problem. And the good feeling fades. What’s left? Well, you still made your choice. Do you abandon it until you feel nice again, or do you resolve to keep trucking along regardless?
As a writer, there are days when I’m 100% satisfied with my work, and there are days when I know my book is crap, my writing skill is garbage, and maybe I should just find a new hobby. But, I write anyway. Emotions come and go, but they shouldn’t take our goals and dreams with them. Life is hard. How much harder would it be if employees only went to work when they were happy? Or parents only paid attention to their kids when they were in a good mood? Or doctors only decided to treat their patients when they were riding that emotional high?
People change. Change is the only constant (besides taxes), so maybe we should bear in mind that our current state of mind can flex and bend and not be hasty to make big decisions based on our emotional response. After all, eventually you will calm down, and then your brain will take over and help you make a more rational choice. Or even better, you’ll learned how to disassociate from your emotions and think logically even in the midst of turbulence. It is possible. Hard, but possible.
Emotions are a good thing. They help us get through hard times, and they teach us empathy and compassion. But they aren’t the sole guiding light in our lives. And they shouldn’t be the only director of our choices. After all, who wants a compass that doesn’t always point north?
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My first book, A God Walks up to the Bar, is available on Amazon.com. Witness the modern day adventures of the Greek god Hermes in a world much like our own – and with demigods, vampires, nymphs, ogres, and magic. The myths never went away, they just learned to move on with the times. It’s a tough job, being a god!
Image: “3/04/2013, 214/365, year 2 Happy face, sad face IMG_1260” by tomylees; Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
Jake W. Powell 