Tag: humour

I Long to Destroy a Single Word

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

Censorship is something I generally take a dim view of, but if I was given the power to ban just one word, I would ban – well, let’s see, there are several words that irk me, but if I had to pick only one …

Literally. I would scour all media and erase the word “literally” from existence.

I acknowledge that language evolves. It changes. Meanings change. What a word meant last decade is completely unrelated to its usage today. But that doesn’t mean I have to like the evolution of a word that originally described a thing or action conforming to its own description as fact rather than metaphor, i. e., the expression “hit the road” taken literally by beating the pavement with a stick or someone who is “feeling blue” literally turning a shade of blue. The adverb once had a very specific meaning that applied in very specific circumstances, and using it outside of that purpose was incorrect.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

That was literally the best concert I’ve ever been to. Stephen Spielberg is literally the best director in history. I literally almost died in that car collision. I literally read ten books in a single month. This is literally not how you use the word.

It’s just another word to emphasize a point. Somewhere along the line, someone decided that “really” and “very” and “extremely” and “superlatively” and “quite possibly” and “definitely” were all too boring and decided to give the English language another disembowelment.

And that’s the evolution of language. Words take on entirely new meanings and the old ones are left behind. It’s natural. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

The worst part, in my opinion, is that it shrinks our daily vocabulary. “Literally” could be replaced by a slew of options in everyday conversation, but we fall back to the quick and easy method of using one over and over and over again. It’s a shame that we gradually decrease our ability to express ourselves by loading a single word with a hundred different meanings rather than learning a hundred different words with very particular, targeted meanings. It’s more work, true, but it makes speech so much more interesting.

But that’s enough of me preaching. Language is language and things will go the way that society drives them, regardless of whether or not it knows how to steer. If I had the power, I would immolate the word “literally,” sweep up the ashes, and dump them in the sea. Alas, that I cannot literally do such a thing to a word.

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My latest book, The Trickster’s Lament, is currently available on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback format.

“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?

Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“

Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.

Confessions of a Skipper

I must confess to a strange reading habit, one that might shock and horrify you. Do not judge me too harshly, for I shall explain myself.

When I start a fiction book, I like to skip to read the last couple of pages first.

“What?” I hear you cry out. “What is this blasphemy? Why ruin the story for yourself?” Calm yourself, please. Let me clear things up.

It’s true that I’m not sensitive to spoilers. I really don’t mind when plot twists are brought up in casual conversation. But this habit is more than just wanting to know how things end. Really, without context, knowledge of a story’s ending doesn’t have a terribly great impact on me as a reader. I have no grasp of the import of the scenes and dialogue. What I’m really interested in is catching a glimpse of the finished jigsaw puzzle, then going back to the beginning to see how the pieces fit together.

Rather than starting a book with no idea of how things end up, I know exactly how it ends. And so, the fun of the read shifts from the “what?” to the “why?” Why is this the ending? And how will my initial impression of it change as I get more pieces of the bigger picture?

I suppose I’m interested in perceiving the author’s mind. How do they assemble the various elements of the narrative into its final shape at story’s end? How are these characters and events inserted into the story? In short, how did we end up here?

Pieces click into place as I read on, and the ending’s significance becomes clearer. Sometimes, I feel like a detective solving a case in reverse. I already know whodunnit, but the howdunnit isn’t so obvious.

And I do it because I’m quirky and it’s kind of a fun exercise to try out. I neither recommend it nor warn against it. Reading style is a matter of personal preference. It’s up to you.

And there you have it. The true confessions of a skipper.

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