If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
“LOOK OUT!”
…
Gotta keep drivers on their toes, y’ know.
***
If this made you chuckle, consider checking out my other blog posts, which are a tad longer but no less entertaining (probably).
Category: Fun
No Jetpacks, No Teleporters, No Space Colonies … Keep Pushing Back the Date, Writers!
You ever notice how writers underestimate the rate of technology’s advance? They never quite get it right.
In the 1950s, writers predicted that families would be getting lost in space in the year 1997 A.D. They didn’t. In the 1960s, some small-time director thought that 2001 would a true odyssey in space. It wasn’t. Manned spaceflight hasn’t even gotten past the moon.
In the 1980s, a certain movie about time travel had the audacity to suggest we’d have hoverboards by 2015. That one still hurts. I want a hoverboard!
But no, we don’t have any. We have electric unmanned cars that come to a dead halt in the middle of intersections if the power grid goes out, but no hoverboards.
But we writers have a simple solution for irritants like reality and historical fact. We ignore them.
Just keep pushing back the date. By 2040 we’ll have colonies on Mars, I’m sure. No? By 2070. No? By 2100. Repeat as needed.
Oh, but don’t go thinking writers are completely lacking in self-awareness. There was an overt change in tactics around the 2000s when space colonies were proving to not be coming any time soon.
Writers started cheating.
In the year -insert random year around two decades from now- mankind discovers alien technology on the moon or Mars or what have you and reverse engineers it. Or a benevolent alien race arrives and welcomes us into the greater galactic community. Huzzah!
The year doesn’t even matter anymore! Marvelous literary freedom unbound by the constraints of science and logic! Be it 2027 or 2227, humanity will eventually discover those long-lost alien ruins that will unlock the secrets of faster-than-light travel, teleportation, artificial gravity and hoverboards.
What? Impossible, you say? Excuse me, but how do you know there isn’t an alien vault on the moon? You have proof?
Besides, writers don’t need proof. We type it down, and it is so. Just like this: In 2036 we will have flying cars. See? That was easy.
Science fiction is easy. All you have to do is keep moving the goalposts. And pretend that you never believed we’d all have hoverboards in the 2010s.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
Foxes in the Neighborhood
Do you ever see wild animals?
Animals have a way of sneaking into civilized areas. It’s hard to visit a place where there aren’t any animals at all, and if you do, it’s probably a place you shouldn’t be visiting if you value your health.
Living in a small town, I see my fair share of wildlife. There are, of course, the usual suspects – squirrels, crows, ravens, and various buzzing insects – but I have very rarely had the privilege of spying a deer warily crossing the street at dusk or dawn.
However, my most notable animal encounters were with the same animal: red foxes. Twice, I’ve seen them. Heck, it could have been the same fox. Both times, the bold beast was out in the open in early morning, fearless as could be, trotting across the plaza without a care in the world. Beautiful creatures, with fine, red-orange coats, and clearly well-fed and healthy. I imagine foxes are a lot like coyotes, making use of the garbage that humans throw out.
They were memorable moments. It’s strange to think of animals like foxes and deer as common in the U.S., and yet not see them very often. Unless you going to work early, like I do, you miss out on opportunities to witness them going about their day. But it’s lovely when you get the chance.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
On the Beach
Do you prefer the mountains or the beach?
The sound of the waves rolling in and out. The distant cry of gulls on the wind. The soft, dry sand under my feet. Yes, I prefer the beach. It is peaceful and relaxing, and I prefer things that way if I can help it.
Mountains offer better views, to be sure, and hikes and adventurous journeys, and I enjoy those, but at the end of a long day, I’d rather listen to the lull of the sea than the breezes rolling through rocky peaks. And I can go for a swim or turn over rocks to look for crabs or just fall asleep on my beach blanket. It’s bright and sunny. There are no bears around.
Maybe it’s just the awe of the vast ocean spread out in front of me, which is a different kind of awe from a mountain. Or maybe I’m just not as averse to sand as other people. I suppose, in the end, it’s just my preference.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
Talkin’ About Pets
What is good about having a pet.
I like animals. I especially like dogs and cats. I used to be more of a dog person, but exposure to cats has gradually drawn me into the position of “likes both equally.” Pets are loyal, don’t judge, don’t criticize, and if they’re furry, are good for hugs and cuddles. A well-trained pet is a very good friend.
I used to have a pet of my own when I was a kid, a rabbit named Timmy. But that was a long time ago, and as I got older, I realized something.
I liked having a pet, but I like other people’s pets even more.
It’s a bit selfish. I visit friends and see their dogs or cats, and after hanging out, can go home where I don’t have to worry about feeding a pet, cleaning them, taking them in for medical checkups or otherwise dealing with the responsibilities of actually having to raise an animal. It’s kind of like having grandchildren or nieces and nephews. You visit for the day, have fun with them, then leave.
Well-behaved pets are friendly and loveable. I just happen to love them when they’re someone else’s responsibility. Oh, well.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
I Don’t Want to Go to the Moon. There’s Nothing to Do There.
How much would you pay to go to the moon?
Not gonna lie, I don’t want to go to the moon. Which means I would save money, I suppose.
Why go to the moon? Because it’s there? Well, plenty have gone to the moon, and it’s a monumental achievement, make no mistake, but I have no interest in leaving Earth’s atmosphere. There’s still so much to do here, so much to see, so much to explore. Earth is a big place. You might think of it as a tiny speck in the cosmos, but if so, then what a speck! Billions of people, millions of cities, and swathes of forests, plains, mountains, jungles, lakes, oceans, rivers, islands, deserts, glaciers, and tundra.
What’s on the moon? Dust. A lot of dust. Dunes. Craters. A really lovely view of Earth, that’s true enough. But going to the moon simply because it isn’t Earth isn’t the most compelling of reasons. I like Earth. I want to see more of it. There’s more to do here than on the Moon.
What if I did decide to take a moon trip? I would pay an astronomical sum to see some astronomy. I’d take a rocket up to the big grey ball in the sky, fly around it and … What? There’s nothing on the moon! What’s the point of traveling all that way if there’s nothing to do at the end of the trip?
Yeah, I don’t want to go the moon. I couldn’t afford it anyway.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
Would I Dare Ride a Horse?
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
Horse racing. If I was guaranteed not to fail spectacularly, I would try horse racing.
I’m not worried much about losing. I don’t care if I don’t come in first place. But I would love to try it with the absolute certainty that I wouldn’t fall off, get kicked in the face, have my fingers bitten off or otherwise end up twisting my horse in circles as I fumble with the reins.
I’ve ridden a horse exactly once, as a child, on a school field trip. “Riding” is a generous word, as the horse was simply following a predetermined route, and I had no control or input.
But to actually ride a horse, to race against other jockeys, to feel my mount kick into a full gallop, to jump fences and feel the horse’s legs pounding underneath – that would be a joy. But I don’t think I ever will try it. I think I lack the confidence that I would come away unscathed. But if there was actually some sort way to guarantee that I couldn’t fall off or get kicked or bit, if there was a way to make such wishes come true, then I might just try it.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
Out of Place, Out of Whack
Tell about a time when you felt out of place.
When I hear the phrase “out of place,” it makes me think that I have somehow misplaced myself or stumbled into something that is not meant for me. It implies being in the wrong place, not merely an awkward or unfitting one. And without a doubt, if I entered someone else’s home without their permission, I’d be very much out of place and rightfully kicked out.
Feeling out of place, though, is something different. That implies a sense of wrongness regardless of the reality. My position and my feelings on that position are at odds with each other. Things feel out of whack, not matching up, but I could very well still be exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I’ve felt out of place plenty of times, in places where I belong: at an employee staff meeting, hanging out with friends, and sometimes, even when writing my book. Sometimes it’s a brief flash of discomfort, sometimes it’s a persistent nagging in the back of my head.
Truth be told, I generally try to ignore it. We all end up somewhere in life, and if we feel out of place, it may well be because we took a wrong turn, but more often than not it’s because it takes time to settle into a new lifestyle, a new routine, a new step in our lives.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
Is There Such a Thing as Life Without Music?
What would your life be like without music?
Life without music would be insufferably boring. And, I think, it would be impossible to live life without it.
Not because we would drop dead from lack of music or lose all motivation and will, but because humans must make music. We feel rhythm and melody in everything. Nature sings: birds, wind, waves, thunder and lightning. Small wonder that man found ways to make musical sounds of his own.
For me, personally, music is a means of relaxation and inspiration. Relaxation from stress and worries, and inspiration for my imagination and writing. I have no particular taste in music; all genres are fair game. I just enjoy music as a means of processing ideas and, perhaps, of hyping myself up for a project.
Music also helps keep me sane when I’m mired in boredom or doing repetitive chores. Music is very important in my life, and I would be lesser for its absence. I think most people would.
And it’s impossible to avoid it. Music runs through my head during the day with or without headphones. It’s always there, drawn from an archive of songs and melodies. We are musical beings. People need music. I certainly do.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
My Top Ten Favorite Movies
WordPress’s daily prompt made me think long and hard today …
These are my top ten favorite movies (in no particular order):
Porco Rosso – One of Studio Ghibli’s lesser known creations, a lowkey, introspective movie set in 1930s Italy. The protagonist is an ace pilot cursed to have the face of a pig. Why? Well, symbolism abounds, as do themes of survivor’s guilt, redemption and freedom. Also beautiful flying scenes, as per Studio Ghibli’s usual standard.
The Count of Monte Cristo (2002) – A great adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’s classic tale of revenge and its consequences. Less character study and more swashbuckling action, but it’s very well-choreographed swashbuckling, and the movie has an overall more optimistic tone than the novel.
Disney’s Beauty and the Beast – I grew up with Disney and will always have a soft spot for its animated films from the 1990s, but this one is my favorite. If you had to tie me to a chair to watch a romance, make it this movie.
Coraline – And if you had to tie me to a chair to watch a spooky animated movie, make it this one. A children’s film that manages to avoid cheap jokes and talking down to its audience, and most importantly, can also be enjoyed by adults. Very bizarre and surreal in a way that still makes a lick of sense.
The Rocketeer – Good old-fashioned pulp fiction adventure, based on a comic book character that surprisingly was less than a decade old at the time. Man with jetpack fights mafia thugs and Nazis. Straightforward, upbeat, and refreshingly earnest compared to the sardonic self-commentary of many of today’s superhero films.
Stargate – Ancient aliens done right – as science fiction. Very good flick that doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel, it just fills itself with likeable characters fighting an eeeeevil villain amidst great special effects. Sparked off an even better television show that ranks among my favorite TV series.
John Wick – A bit of a cheat, since I like the entire series, but I’ll stick with the first one for the purpose of this list. After a decade of jitter cam action antics, filmmakers realized that they could make stylish, creative action sequences and keep the camera steady. The action (and violence) generally takes precedence over the story, but the story that we see is actually quite poignant and painful in its humanity, as many of the best action films tend to be.
Tombstone – A manly Western starring manly men with manly mustaches. Joking aside, it’s a great film for everyone. Based on real-life events surrounding 19th-century lawman Wyatt Earp’s time in the town of Tombstone, Arizona, this film is made and memorialized by its cast. Really, really great acting all around, dialogue that sticks in your brain, and memorably tense confrontations between heroes and villains. Only in this film could the words, “Well, bye,” be made a stupendously amazing line.
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad – We’re going old school now. A 1950s fantasy flick with special effects by Ray Harryhausen, the man, the myth, the legend. Modern visual effects wouldn’t exist without him, nor half the monster designs you and I take for granted these days. The visuals are the real star here; the story is typical “Arabian Nights” fare: Sinbad the sailor fights evil sorcerer to save princess. Features a fire-breathing dragon, perpetually angry cyclops, and most famously, a swordfight with a living skeleton. This is the foundation of modern fantasy visuals as we know it, you young whippersnappers!
Hook – This movie’s premise is very bold: Tell a story about Peter Pan growing up. Sounds like a disaster on paper (and to be fair, this movie is a bit divisive, I understand), but I always enjoyed it. Robin Williams makes the film work with his acting chops, and the film is more grounded in James Barrie’s original story than you might suspect, and indeed more so than many later Peter Pan adaptations. Dustin Hoffman’s Captain Hook is a treat – even if he’s not my favorite version of Hook, he serves as a great foil to Williams. Also probably my favorite realization of Neverland on film – colorful, fantastical and like something out of a storybook.
***
Many thanks for visiting my blog. I post updates on my writing career, I muse over storytelling and fiction, and I reflect on the curious and wonderful things in life.
“Hermes is not having the best time. He walks a fine line, and his duty as messenger of Olympus weighs heavily on him. Being a god in the modern age means living in a world that no longer believes in gods. How much can one deity accomplish when no one respects him anymore? And why do his instincts tell him that he, the son of Zeus, is losing favor with his own family?
Tensions abound. The upstart Young Gods play dangerous games using entire cities as their boards. Formless monsters strike from the nighttime shadows, terrorizing hapless mortals. Agents of rival pantheons scheme to thwart Olympus’ designs. In the thick of it all, Hermes does what he does best: trick, lie, and cheat his way to victory.“
Jake W. Powell 